On Working
But I can’t get away from this overwhelming desire, a primal need to just sit down and write.
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But I can’t get away from this overwhelming desire, a primal need to just sit down and write.
A few days later, at two in the morning, Janet sent me a text. “It’s you in the video.”
Yet, every day I still fight. I make connections whenever I can.
“I slept in the shape of a starfish. I ordered room service.”
I’m leaving my kids for a few days. I’m leaving Coraline for pretty much the first time ever. I’m flying out to the East Coast.
If I spent even ten minutes remembering, and writing, later that night when she screamed and fought me over eating or going to bed, I could go back to that place where I meditated on the way her hands looked as she carefully picked up a crab with a yellow plastic shovel.
“You’re a great mom,” she said. “You get grumpy, but you just had a baby by yourself. I know it’s hard.”
I wish sometimes that this could be Christmas. Quiet mornings, in the glow of lights, and not a build-up to another early morning of opening gifts.
I usually allow moments like this to pass. I believe that if I give them attention, I might jinx them in some way.
Every word and thought and event seems to shape itself into a beginning middle and end in a perfect 800-word format that I can send off in a pitch.